Spring has been a busy time of year for House V. And, we’re getting ready to welcome a new member into the family. It’s at times like these that my Sir comes to mind. He died in 2007 as a result of AIDS. But, before he left, I learned a lot. Welcoming a new member into the family, I can’t help but think of some of those things I learned.
Many of them are reflected in our manual. In a way, it serves as a living document to his wisdom. It’s the touchstone that we as a family can return to over the course of our lives together for grounding and guidance. But, a Leather family is more than protocol. It’s more than S/M. I think at its root its about definition. For many of us, we wander through our sexual experiences and our lives more generally without definition; looking for those singular moments of clarity. Uncovering my Leather identity was that moment, was that definition that I had been missing. And, I think a family provides that important context. He taught me this. I hope to teach my boys and my subs the same.
If this sounds a little strange, it’s because Leather is a lifestyle for us. My preferred pronoun is Sir. My sexual orientation is Leather. My sexual identity is made up of sweat, piss, cum, stretched and tanned cow hide, and pain. Those who become part of our family do so because they have found themselves in the midst of these things. This is what I love about Leather. This is what a Leather family teaches. It is decidedly un-metaphysical. My Sir used to pinch my arm and say, “This is the stuff of Leather.” This flesh, this here and now, this crude matter is our sacrament. No transubstantiation required.
So many of us spend our lives running from the substance of who we are that such a perspective may seem crass, at best. But, it is this very body-positive, sex-positive carnal attitude that I hope I can faithfully pass on to my submissives. Don’t run from the flesh. Embrace the flesh. And, this family, this fleshy, flawed family is the very embodiment of this mantra. We recite it in every bent knee, every sting of the cane, every slap of the crop, every drop of piss, every splash of cum and every loving embrace.
